Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
