Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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