An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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