Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
