Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
