He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
