Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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