are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
