3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
