You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think my fart just growled at me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
