I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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