so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
