How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
