I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
