I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
