You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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