I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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