Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
