I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
