so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
