i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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