i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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