My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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