I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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