She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
