wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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