He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
