two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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