Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Me. At least after what I've been through.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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