am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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