Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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