none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
