we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
