It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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