Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
