Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
