Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
