I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
