my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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