Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
