When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
