Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
