In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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