oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
