I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
