Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
MIDGETS
????
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
