Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
