I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
