"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
