I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
