I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
